Accent...moi?

Leading on from yesterdays post...

Your accent is something that other people hear so when I see eyes being raised in a quizzical way I know that I have to speak slower or even use a different word - I find an English one normally helps. 

The Scottish accent is well known the world over through the media of cinema and television with the likes of Sir Sean Connery, Ewan Mcgregor, Billy Connelly and sadly Willie the ground keeper at Springfield Elementary School in 'The Simpsons' but the regional accents like the 'Doric' of Aberdeen are less well known;

As a young(ish) sales rep. I was sent on a mission to sell a new concept to the Aberdeen agricultural market.On my very first call I was greeted with the phrase " Furry boots ya frae? and then a few fits and starts which led me to think I had crossed over into a strange foreign country. I came to understand the greeting was simply a request to know where I'd come from or who had sent me -"Where abouts are you from?" 

Others I came to learn were:

Fit like? - How are you?

Fitya selling? - What are you selling?

Far hiv ya bin? - Where have you been?

We recently had a couple from the Isle of Skye staying at 'Les Balcons', the husband was originally from Aberdeen and he recalled the time when he was travelling on the bus and two local woman were chatting away in front of an English couple who were heard to say that "You would not expect to find Russians here in Aberdeen - must be the oil."

I've had a few moments myself. When Pauline and I visited Copenhagen many years ago we dropped into a small cellar bar where we heard the sound of 'The Eagles' drifting up to the street above. There was an American singing and after sitting down and being entertained he noticed me singing along and asked if I'd like to come and accompany him. As I began to speak to him he said that he would have to apologise as he did not speak Danish - I reassured him, in my best English, that this wasn't a problem,  as neither did I!

Below is an example of the 'Doric' accent -apologies for some of the language!! 

The word up...

We think French is difficult??

Pauline was sent this from one of her friends -you may already have seen it but...

I think a retired English teacher was bored.

If you read it all the way to the bottom you can look UP at what you have just read!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? 

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this… 

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,

for now my time isUP,

so.......it is time to shut UP!