Sunday, 22 January 2012

Tell me why...

Very sadly my brother Robert (56) lost his battle against leukaemia early on Saturday morning. It was a battle he was never going to win as he was born with a ‘rogue gene’
which, even after a bone marrow transplant, made this impossible. He went through with the transplant and all its associated treatment as his siblings actually gave him the option of three almost perfect matches. It seemed inconceivable that he should be given these three chances and this hope, when others can struggle for such a match, that the treatment would not yield a positive result. Sadly this was not to be – why the false hope and the loss of valuable time?
It is at times like this that any semblance of religious faith you might have is questioned. Here was a husband, father, brother who had just retired (his condition was actually discovered at his discharge medical) looking forward to spending a happy retirement with wife Pat, in the beautiful ‘Kingdom of Fife’ surrounded by golf courses. I am sure these would have been a big part of his retirement but he was denied the opportunity.
I’m sure you will forgive me for asking WHY even though I know there are greater tragedies and heartaches unfolding as I write these words. What is the point?

Why also was he given the great physical and mental strength to offer such resistance to this unbeatable foe even in his final days? Was it not enough for others around him to endure the pain and suffering that such a time brings? There are no answers it seems other than we must accept these random choices as to who lives or dies as life!   .

Yes we are thankful that Robert touched our lives but he had so much more to give, please tell me why!  


  1. Jim, although we knew it was going to happen soon, I am so sorry to read this.

    There are no greater tragedies and heartaches than losing someone so close and so dear. Sadly, there are no answers to your questions, I think.

    I just want you to know that we are thinking of you and wish there was something to say that would help but it's hard to know what to say, except how sad we are to hear the news.

  2. Jim and Pauline,

    We've never met, other than through the blog, but I would like you to know that our thoughts are with you at this very sad time.

    Your pain at the loss of Robert will be overwhelming, and it is natural that you should ask questions. Sadly these are natural questions to which there aren't any answers.

    I'm not religious and neither do I have any particular faith, but I trust that given time your anger and bewilderment will give way to the treasured memories of the man he was, the times you spent together.

    Life isn't always just or fair and I'm sure you will all miss Robert terribly.

    With our deepest sympathy,

    Gaynor and Tim

  3. Dear Jim and Pauline

    We are so sorry to hear that your brother has lost his fight against such a terrible illness.

    Losing someone you love and hold dear is the greatest of all tragedies and nothing any of us can say will take away the pain or give you answers. But please know that we are thinking of you and wishing you well.

    Your fond memories of Robert will never fade, but the pain will - in time. Just try to hold on in there..

    With our love and deepest sympathy, Colin and Elizabeth

  4. Dear Jim and Pauline

    As Liz and I know all to well, death is never easy to comprehend. Even when an elderly person dies after a full life it’s sad, but it’s even more poignant when a person with so much to live for passes away.

    From what we have heard from you, Robert bore his condition bravely and even with no little humour. This says much of the kind of man he was, and I am sure you will remember with fondness the good times you shared when the initial pain of parting starts to fade.

    Before she died our good friend Shirley left a message to be read at her funeral. She stressed that we were to “live our lives to the full” and I am sure that’s what Robert wants for you as well.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Pauline, and with Robert’s wife and children in the difficult days ahead.

    All our love

    Mike & Liz